My Darling mum,my soulmate,my world,I never imagined that it was possible to feel complete and utter overwhelming pain as I am feeling right now,and have done since that very day,I was told you had left me. How could it be true I told myself,I was out of control,you couldn't leave me,I wasn't there to hold your hand,and tell you as I always did "I love you " but it wasn't to be,you couldn't wait my darling.This ONE person in my life who stood by me,guided me,NEVER gave up on me and most importantly loved me for who I was,I never had or or felt that love and trust with anyone else my darling mum.The thought of never telling you "I love you" and never holding your hand again is just destroying me inside and the worse part is mum,no-one truly gets it because they didn't know what special bond we truly had,my teacher,my guidance,my counsellor,my nurse,you were all of them my darling,it didn't matter that no-one else cared, you were there and all I needed,and then within a blink of an eye,you were gone,my hero,my best friend,I have my two boys mum,but they are not you and didn't give me what you did,part of me has truly died with you and my heart is broken beyond repair,I feel so lonely my darling,who will understand me now and make me feel like I am someone,like I belong,everyone loses someone at one point in their life but I wasn't ready to lose you,you never saw me happy for such a long time and I owed you that,I am so sorry, please forgive me, now my boys are struggling to pick up the pieces,life goes on but my life feels like it has ended,please guide me my darling,I know you are with dad,but this doesn't help me,sleep tight my darling, I love you my dearest friend,night night,see you again soon that I can promise xxxx p.s your boys miss you so much